I Hate After School Time.

Let's just get one thing out in the open before I continue. Yes, I absolutely love my kids. No, I don't always like them. Do I have to like them? Absolutely not. That being said, I shall continue.


I see moms in all different groups I'm in saying things like "Oh, I'm not ready for little Johnny to start school yet!" or "Little Lisa starts Pre-K this year. I am crying so hard!" or even "I took Billy to school today. There were more tears coming from me than him. I don't know what to do with myself."

Meanwhile, I'm over here like "FINALLY. SCHOOL STARTS TODAY!" and "Oh thank God the kids are off to school." Not because I don't want to be around them. But, okay, well, maybe it's a little like that. Reminder, I do love my kids (reminder for you, or for me?!) but the nonstop fighting between them is enough to make even the sanest person lose it. I've tried ignoring them, I've tried redirection, I've tried punishments. Nothing helps. Especially not with AJ's problems.

Let me tell you, if you think that this is a discipline issue, then you are sorely mistaken. I invite any one of you into my home for a full day to see what we go through. Of course, I'm going to ask that you make yourself hidden because my kids are on their best better behavior when other people are around. The fighting isn't as bad. It stops the first time I tell them to stop it. They're more inclined to help out around the house. They don't bicker, or talk back.

Today, oh man. Today the advocate from Head Start came to do a home visit so that Gianna can go to school later this month. While I was talking to her, Sofia came home and immediately started acting up. She RARELY acts up. But sometimes, she just has to show off. And that she did. Immediately started being loud, being silly, and interrupting us while we were talking. Which then meant that Gianna had to start being loud. Eventually, I got them to calm down, but that was only the beginning.

Enter AJ. He comes home at 3:45. From that point on until bedtime (at 7:30), it's nonstop:
AJ, sit down.
AJ, do your homework.
AJ, what did I just say?
AJ, keep your hands to yourself.
Quit tattling, AJ.
Just be quiet for 2 minutes ... PLEASE!
AJ, stop yelling at Gianna.
AJ, stop chasing her.
Gianna, stop taking his toys.
AJ, stop yelling.
AJ! JUST STOP!!!!

I literally mean, nonstop. Shortly after he came home today, he started his homework. That involved him cutting pictures out of a magazine for school. He needed to cut out things that he liked. Gianna sat next to him, just watching him. She did not touch him, nor did she say anything to him. He, all of a sudden, started screaming about her being there. He threw the scissors down, and stormed off. Gianna grabbed the scissors and set them back down on his magazine. He then flipped out because she touched his scissors (they were actually Sofia's scissors). He threw his arms in the air, and started stomping all over. After that little fit, he came back to finish his work. When he finished, he asked me to close the ziploc baggie with his pictures in it. While I was doing that, I asked him to pick up the pieces that he cut out and won't be using. Gianna helped him pick them up, and then he flipped out about that. He didn't want to walk allllll the way to the kitchen by himself (a whole 10 feet). So he decided to throw the little papers on the floor and then throw himself down.

After that episode was over, he picked up his mess, all while muttering nonsense. I ignored him. He started playing with his toys after that- Trio Blocks, wrestling figures, and his toy sword. When he turned around to ask me something, Gianna touched one of his Trio blocks. Because she dared touch it, he started flipping out, screaming at her and stomping around. She handed him the block back, and he snatched it from her. Which then hurt her, and made her cry. Because she started crying, he started yelling at her for crying, calling her a cry baby and a liar (denying wrongdoing is common with ODD kids). Since he chose to hurt her, intentionally or not, I made him put his toys away and sit on the couch. At that point, he started throwing his toys in the toy bin. Fine. At least they're being put away and he isn't hurting anyone. Once he realized I wasn't letting him up, he started with the name calling and attitude again.

I'm horrible. He hates me. He wishes he never came home from school (the feeling is mutual at this point, buddy!!). He's never coming home again (can I pack for you??). Blah blah blah. My only response to all this, is a very unenthusiastic "Okay. I'm sorry you feel that way. I still love you." After a few times of me repeating that, he eventually calms down. It's like something clicks in his head Oh, she still loves me. Maybe I should stop. It's like he's not getting the reaction he wants (he gets great enjoyment out of seeing me cry and beg him to please stop) so he just gives up. Or maybe the rational part of his brain kicks in to snap him out of his ODD rage.

What ever is going on, school seems to exacerbate it. He has recently had a med change, yet again, and is only taking them in the morning. It started as him taking Ritalin LA 40 mg and Risperidone 2 mg in the morning, and Ritalin LA 20 mg, Risperidone 2 mg, and Clonidine .10 mg after school (around 3:30 during the Summer). But he took them all at once one morning during the Summer, accidentally. It worked well, so the RN at the therapist suggested we continue. Since he's taking all those in the AM, they work for a few hours. So by the time he comes home, they've worn off, and all his pent up frustration and anger from the new school year come out. He lashes out at me and who ever is in his path. Which is why I hate after school time. My anxiety kicks up around 3:30. My shoulders and my neck tense up. I KNOW I'm in for a battle royale.

Our next therapy appointment isn't until the 30th of this month. I'm not so sure I'll be able to last that long. I feel every muscle tensing up when I know he's about to come home. I feel every bad feeling you could possibly feel, creeping up. It's just not a good feeling. The worst thing is knowing that I can't help him. His therapist doesn't do much for him. Unfortunately, she's the only therapist around that we can see. She has these "ideas" on how to help him- 1-2-3 Magic for disciplining (laughable, at best). Taking things away as punishment (he doesn't care). Redirection ... All things we have tried!! This is an ongoing problem, and I feel like I'm drowning in meltdowns and tantrums.

In the meantime, I'll just plug along and hope things get better. Or at least that the newness of school wears off and he calms down.

How has the first day been for you? Any meltdowns? 

Munchables Chewable Jewelry **REVIEW & GIVEAWAY!!**

I received this product in exchange for a review. All opinions are 100% my own.

As a mother to a kiddo with Sensory Processing Disorder, I know how important it is to have things on hand that my child can chew on. Preferably, something other than his fingers and clothing. AJ will chew on his fingers until they bleed, and he puts holes in his clothes. Neither of those are things I want him to do. Clothing isn't cheap, and as for his fingers? It hurts! Enter Munchables.

Munchables is a WAHM company, located in Canada. This mom set out to provide affordable teething jewelry for moms, that is aesthetically pleasing. But, she not only offers necklaces for mom. She also offers pacifier clips, bracelets, and even children's jewelry. We received a necklace for my son for review purposes.

I messaged Munchables, and soon Laura and I were in discussion for the perfect necklace for AJ. I told her what colors he liked, and she came up with this beauty.

These beads are food-based silicone, dishwasher safe, BPA free, and exceed safety standards. The clasp is designed to snap open in an instant so as to avoid choking risks. The beads can certainly take a lot of chewing, and hold up fabulously. As soon as it came in the mail, it was in AJ's mouth. And there it stayed for the majority of the day. While was chewing, he said it was a weird, but pleasant feeling. It didn't hurt his teeth, like chewing on his shirts sometimes did. He wasn't harming himself, like he did while chewing his fingers. I didn't have to worry about germs getting into his mouth, like I do when he gnaws on other items. Because this necklace doesn't touch the floor, it stays relatively clean. Since I don't own a dishwasher, I hand wash it every so often. Just a quick wipe down with a soapy hand gets the job done.

There are a TON of different beads to chose from, styles, lengths, designs, etc! The possibilities are ENDLESS!! The best part of this company, in my opinion, is the excellent customer service. Laura is so kind and easy going! I am VERY indecisive, and couldn't decide on how I wanted his necklace to look. As I said above, all I did was tell her the colors he liked, and she put together his necklace. It may be simple, but it's perfect for my boy. A big bonus is that they replace the clasp for FREE for the first year of ownership! AJ has a habit of chewing the clasp, and I have to remind him often that it's not made for chewing, but so far we have no issues with it opening and closing.

Added these pics 8.18 as I failed to do so earlier. As you can see, only the clasp has any signs of wear and tear after being heavily chewed on for over a month.

If you have a teething baby, or a child with SPD, please consider Munchables!! You won't be disappointed! One lucky reader will win a Munchables item of THEIR choice! All you have to do is enter using the Rafflecopter form below! Good luck!


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I sold my son to the Circus

No, not really. Although sometimes, I wish I could! Unfortunately, the circus isn't taking any new people, though.

AJ has been acting even worse than ever. Once school ended, he just wasn't happy. He's been miserable, mean, and actually physically hurting people on purpose. Specifically, he was targeting Gianna because she's smaller than him. He would pinch her when he didn't think anyone was looking, smack her, etc. Just the other day, I caught him pushing her off the chair. It's gotten out of hand. I brought in the big guns for his most recent appointment with his therapist. I scheduled it so that my husband could join me. I needed the support.

While our concerns weren't ENTIRELY addressed to our expectations, it did go better than if I had gone alone. AJ's medication was increased, so we are giving that a whirl. He is now on 40mg Ritalin LA and 2mg Risperidone in the AM, and 20mg Ritalin LA, 2mg Risperidone, and .25mg Clonidine between 1 and 3:30 PM.

It took a week before we could try this combination out. Only because our son is the only one in his area on Ritalin, apparently, and NO pharmacy had them in stock. They had to order them. So, we went a full week with NO medication at all. That was fun ... not. He was mean, hurtful, rude, impatient, violent, and so on. His words were hurtful, and he made me really wish I could sell him to a circus. Or even just give him away!

We have since tried the new dosage, and I'm still not seeing a huge difference. He's still argumentative, mean, violent, and just can't. sit. still.

However, we may have found something to help him. We've noticed that he's the only one in the house without an electronic device of his own, and he seems to have a hard time with that. He's constantly stealing Gianna's Kindle, or just snatching it out of her hands. Anthony and I have talked about this briefly before, and the agreement was that AJ had to prove to us that he could treat a tablet properly- no throwing toys, slamming them into the wall, floor, etc. Personally, I don't think his behavior warranted a tablet. He did not show that he could be responsible, as he has broken a few more toys this past week. But at this point, I'm desperate for some peace and quiet from him, some sense of normalcy, even though our life is anything BUT normal!

This poor little guy was seen Friday afternoon because of his eye. Turns out, he has a sty.

Fortunately for him, my laptop quit working. What that meant was, I needed a new laptop ASAP. I headed to our local rent-to-own store, and rented a computer. Long story short, I found a better deal with a laptop + tablet combo, so I took the original rental back. Since everyone else has their own electronic device, AJ will be using the tablet. He spent a whole half hour wrapped up on it. He put it down when I asked him to, and was actually polite when speaking to me and his sisters. He's like a different child. I'm not sure if his acting out was because of jealousy, or if the tablet is just a brain-suck and this is just a zombie of a child, too wrapped up in the tablet to notice his surroundings. This is only the first day he's actually had it, so I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Being without a computer was hard- I am VERY behind in some reviews that I needed to get. I find myself being committed to many reviews, when that is not the original purpose of this blog. I will be taking a massive step back to get this blog back on the track I originally had for it. I intend to post more about my children, namely my son, and how our lives are constantly on the go. And who knows? Maybe I'll stop seeking out a zoo to sell my kid to.

You're such a retard!

Now that I have your attention ...

Imagine this. You're hanging out with your friends. There's at least 4 of you. You decide to try to do some new trick. Epic fail. You fall flat on your face. Your friends crack up hysterically, because let's face it, when it happens to someone else, it's pretty funny. Then one says "You really thought you could do that?! You're such a retard!!"

Imagine this as well. You're reading the new dress code at your local school. What?! Only blue jeans are allowed? No shorts? Not even in summer?! That is such a retarded rule. Who ever came up with that is retarded.

Now, imagine that you said all that out loud, next to a group of parents who have special needs kids. Or what if you said that right in front of those special needs kids? Loud enough for them to hear. Do you have any idea just how offensive that is?

Let's get something straight. I have no problem with it being used properly. Some people are mentally retarded. Children's pajamas are flame retardant. Some things have been proven to retard your growth. Those are all acceptable ways to use that word. Calling someone retarded because they did something stupid? Not acceptable. Using that term to describe something you don't believe is right? Not acceptable. Retard does NOT mean stupid. Stupid means stupid. Unfair means unfair.

My son has some learning disabilities. Stupid, he is not. He is many things. He is

                                                                  a boxer:

                                                            a decorator:

a member of the SWAT team:

and a storyteller:

Most importantly, he is Anthony. My son. A wise friend once told me that a child's disabilities are a part of them. They don't define him or her. 

Speaking of said friend. This is her daughter Emily. She has Down syndrome. She is not "that downs baby". She is not stupid. She is

a gamer (a pretty chatty one, too!):

a mess maker.

a Beauty Queen.

your typically happy-go-lucky toddler.

Most importantly, she is Emily. A BEAUTIFUL 6 year old girl, who happens to have a little something extra.

Another friend of mine has an almost 4 year old daughter. She has SPD as well. A more severe case than my son has. Krista's speech is also delayed. It is sometimes hard to understand her. She is in OT for her speech and sensory issues. Stupid? Definitely not. She is

a water baby:

a mud-pie baker:

a painter:

a ham for the camera:

But most importantly, she is Krista. A 3 year old whose 4th birthday is being celebrated in a few days. My son's best friend.

If you happened to look around before you spoke, and saw them, would you still proceed to call your friend a "retard" for doing something stupid? Or would you not care? Would you even understand just how hurtful that would be, not only to our children, but to us as parents? Our children are not stupid. They are very bright. They may not show you just how intelligent they are, but we see things every day that we're told they would never do. Emily's mom can attest to just how true that is. 

Emily's mom also said "Why do we need to use labels at all? Labels are for jars and my daughter is not a jar. The R word is hateful as is any word that deems my child somehow "different" than anyone else. Her name is Emily. She has Down syndrome. Call her Emily and she will answer."

Spread the word to end the word

http://r-word.org/

Won't you take the pledge with us?