Thursday, November 6, 2014

Another hospital stay for Gianna

3 years ago, at only 2.5 months old, we learned that Gianna has the same blood disorder that I have, Hereditary Spherocytosis.

It was the worst time of my life. 2 ER trips, a blood transfusion, nebulizer treatments, many many blood draws, and finally, our answer. This was my status on November 3rd, 2011 in response to everyone asking how Gianna was and what happened:




I have never felt more helpless in my life. To watch my poor baby hooked up to IVs, having veins blown because they are so small, needing the transfusion. It was hell, to say the least.

After her transfusion, she looked great! Better color, and she was an entirely different baby. So happy!!
I still have this outfit. It's one of my faves!!


Just recently, we spent another 3 days in the hospital. I took her in to the ER on the 20th because she was very lethargic, hard to wake up, 103° fever, refused to take medicine, and barely drank. We sat in the waiting room for 3 hours before we were brought back to a room. The nurse we had was rude, and insisted on making Gianna take Tylenol. While I understood how important getting that fever reduced was, he was very rude. He mentioned possibly needing to give it to her rectally, and I told him no, she is not allowed anything rectally as it could cause hemorrhaging, especially if she's in an anemic crisis. He said it didn't matter, that they WOULD give it rectally if she didn't take it. 

After stating that, he attempted to give her the liquid Tylenol via medicine syringe. When he put it in her mouth, and squirted it, rather forcefully, she vomited all over. Which then further made him irritated. He stormed out of the room, not even offering to help me clean it. I don't mind cleaning up, after all, it was my child, but I didn't appreciate his obvious irritation with the situation. He stormed out of the room, and didn't return for another 10 minutes. And that was to threaten that she better take the medicine, "or else". We finally got new sheets and new blankets. Especially since she ruined her shirt.

After daddy brought new clothes for her.


The nurse wasn't the only one we had trouble with. The ER doctor was less than willing to listen to my concerns. I did not catch his name, as he said it very quickly when he first came out, then basically ran right out of the room. He never stayed long enough to take my concerns seriously, or even to listen to them all. I requested a blood draw be done, because of her blood disorder. He asked me why. I stated that I wanted to know what her hemoglobin and hematacrit were. He told me those numbers were irrelevant at this point in time. He asked again what I was looking for. I stated that I wanted to know what her numbers were, and if there was an infection in her body. He stated that there WAS an infection, but it was viral and nothing could be done. He asked me if I'd be able to get an appointment with our pediatrician the next day. I told him that I thought discharging her would be a foolish move, but yes, I could get an appt the next day. I also stated that her pedi would order a blood draw if he still refused. Long story short, he FINALLY agreed to one, to shut me up, as he put it. The results came back, and it was determined that she needed to be admitted immediately.



Despite being admitted, we were held in the ER because there were no beds available on the pediatrics ward. The doctor never returned to our room after agreeing to doing the blood work. I have no idea why, and honestly was not unhappy. We finally were taken upstairs around 6am the following day. It was then disclosed to be that her hemoglobin (9.5 a week ago) had dipped down to 6.8. Her specialist was called, and stated that if it went down to a 6, she wanted a transfusion done. The following blood draw put her number at 6.2, and the one after that showed it climbing back up, so no transfusion was necessary. She had an IV in place for fluids, and medication given 'round the clock (Tylenol and Ibuprofen). Her temperature kept going from 99.1­° up to 104.7° at one point. 



On the afternoon of the 23rd, she was finally discharged. She had been fever-free for 24 hours, using the bathroom regularly, eating appropriately, and otherwise acting like her normal self. They gave her an ice pop (her 4th since bringing her to the ER days prior) while getting her discharge papers ready.



While I wish I could say that this is rare, it seems to be common for us. A few days every few months, she is hospitalized. A virus, a cold, etc. I can't wait for the day we no longer fear colds and other illnesses. 


Ladies and gentlemen, if you made it this far, I hope you take one thing away from this entire long blog post. Please, if ANYTHING is wrong with your children, listen to your gut. Do not take "No" for an answer. If I had not fought with the doctor, verbally of course, we would have never had the blood draws done, and she would not have been admitted. She would not have had the medical attention like she did. Luckily, nothing bad happened to her, but if that doctor had insisted on discharging her, who knows what could have happened at home. We just don't know. My anxiety was through the roof, but I was angry that my concerns weren't listened to. The doctor's reasoning for not wanting to do a blood draw was "It will upset her more than she already is. We don't need to poke her when she's already not feeling well." He paid no attention to the fact that she had a blood disorder. He paid no attention to the fact that her spleen was enlarged. He showed no signs of being concerned with her well being, and neither did the first nurse who saw her. The only one who cared about my baby was me. And I made sure she was taken care of. The doctors and nurses on the pediatric floor were fantastic and made sure everything was taken care of, and that my concerns were addressed and taken care of. 

                                    

 You are your child's voice. Make sure you are heard.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Caught in yet another lie

I honestly can't take this any more. My sons lying is OUT OF CONTROL. I just caught him in yet another lie. After just having a massive lying incident the other week, I thought he'd be done. At least, done for a while. This totally cuts into the blog I wanted to write. I will have to save that for another day.


We have to register our dogs. Mine, and my SILs. They were going to sell their Nintendo 2DS or whatever it's called, so they had the funds to register theirs, but couldn't find it. It was supposed to be in the case, along with like 6 games. When they grabbed it, they noticed it felt lighter than it should have been. Open it up, and SURPRISE! The DS and 2 games are missing. I instantly accused AJ. Why? Because he has a history of stealing things. Naturally, I turned to the one with the history of it.

He denies knowing anything about it. He didn't even know it was there. So, it just can't be him. Then, since I accused him, my husband starts yelling at me. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ACCUSE HIM? HE DOESN'T ALWAYS DO THINGS LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW. I'M TIRED OF YOU ALWAYS ACCUSING HIM. MAYBE THEY MISPLACED IT. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?!" To be honest, I briefly entertained that thought. But after a very brief consideration, I thought differently. Because he was upset about this, he was upset when our dog ran outside when SIL's husband opened the door. I grabbed her leash and followed her so that she could go to the bathroom if she needed to.

When I brought her back in, he was digging around in the couch to look for it. I decided to go upstairs and look around in the kids' room to see if it was in there. Hmm, what do you know, I found it in his underwear drawer. I came downstairs, directed my attention to my husband and said "And THIS is why I accuse him. Because 9 times out of 10, it IS him. I found this in one of his drawers.". I handed the system to my SIL so I could go back and continue to look for the other missing game. While I was going back upstairs, he kept insisting it wasn't him. Someone planted it there. It wasn't him. It was someone else. He didn't do it. Blah blah blah

Next thing I hear is this loud smack, a scream, and my SIL yelling at my husband for smacking AJ. All hell breaks loose. If it's one thing my husband and I hate is when people try to tell us how to raise our kids. Especially a childless family member. He HATES it. She's yelling at Anthony that she didn't care if AJ played on it. Just that he should have told her. Point of the punishment was because he stole it, then lied to us about having it.

Even after being confronted, he STILL lies about it. I asked him who would possibly set him up. He says "Gianna can reach the top drawer. She could have done it." Ehhhhhhhhhh ... at that point, I called him out, again. "I never stated I found it in your top drawer. I said I found it in ONE OF YOUR DRAWERS. So that there shows me, again, that YOU did it. Stop the lying. All you're doing is digging yourself further and further into this lie. STOP. Just stop it!!!"


I just don't know what to do any more. I can't take it. It's constantly lie after lie. If he continues doing this, he's going to end up getting into serious legal troubles as he gets older. I am at a loss. Punishments don't seem to work. Threatening to call the police doesn't matter. The last time I took him to the police station for stealing money from me, they said, right in front of him, that he was too young to be placed in a holding cell. He is too young for the "scared straight" program.

What would YOU do in this instance? I have NO problem taking things from him, but all of the kids share one room, so I can't take things without punishing them as well. He WILL be going to bed early tonight. He will be banned from ALL electronics for a minimum of a week. I'm debating on taking Trick Or Treating away from him. Or even not allowing him to participate in his classroom's Halloween party. What are some punishments you would dish out in this case?

Friday, October 17, 2014

Announcing the winner of the giveaway .....

...   But first ...


Yesterday was Gianna's appointment with her specialist. Unfortunately, I was extremely distracted while driving, and didn't realize I had went the wrong way. To get to her pediatrician, I have to take one exit (we'll say Exit A), to get to her specialist, I have to take another (Exit B). Because I was talking to my husband about the appointment we had with her pediatrician on Monday, I took Exit A and didn't think much of it. About an hour and a half into the drive, I said to him "Wouldn't it be funny if we weren't going the right way??" ... and then I realized we weren't. Oops.

I called, they said if we could get there around 1, or shortly after (meaning 1:15), we would be okay. We got there at 1:05, and they the receptionist turned us away. I realize it was my mistake, and I take full responsibility for it. We did reschedule for today. And made it there on time today! WOOT! Her doctor said everything looked great. Her spleen is slightly enlarged, but it's not large enough to warrant any concern. We return in a year, unless something happens that requires emergency care.







I also had my second interview today at a children's clothing store. I was still incredibly nervous, and honestly considered not even going. But I didn't. I went to Old Navy earlier to buy some new clothes for my interview, so I HAD to go. It turns out, I know the hiring manager. She said she has 3 other people she needs to interview still, but I am still hoping that I get hired. I'd love to work there. I love their clothes, so I can see myself spending much of my check on new clothes for the kids! Maybe getting hired there isn't such a good thing. Hmmm




And now, to announce the winner of the $5 Amazon Gift Card:
CRYSTAL H!!!
Look out for that email! And congrats!!


Thank you all so much for all of your excellent advice!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Quick Giveaway! Give me your best tip!

I had an interview yesterday, and though I was incredibly nervous, I did well enough that I was invited back for a 2nd interview Friday evening. I am still nervous! It's been SIX years since I've last had an interview, and I am unsure what to expect.



To celebrate, I'm going to have a little contest. Give me your best advice for someone going to an interview. Anything at all! From suggestions on how to dress, to questions that might be asked, even your most embarrassing interview stories! One lucky person who comments will win a $5 Amazon Gift Card!!





Contest will run until 10 PM, EST.
Fine print: Contest is sponsored SOLELY by me. Please be sure to leave your email address in the comment box below so I may contact you in the event that you win. Winner will have 24 hours to answer my email, notifying them of being the winner, or a new winner will be chosen. I will use random.org to chose a winner. First comment is #1, second is #2, and so on. Sharing the post on either FB or Twitter will give you an extra entry. To claim your second entry, submit another comment that says "Shared on (Facebook/Twitter)". Only comments on the blog will count. GOOD LUCK!!



Ready??


Set.


GO!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

HELP! Advice/suggestions needed!

How do you handle the constant lying??


I literally mean CONSTANT. It's like, this kid can't go a second without lying about something. Anything!! I know a lot of this has to do with his ODD, but it's about minor, insignificant things.

Just now, Gianna whined to me that he wouldn't let her wear it. I asked what "it" was, and he insisted it was the cat collar. I asked her if that's what she wanted, and she said no, and pointed to something under his lap. I asked him again, he insisted the collar. I asked again, he said he didn't know. I asked one last time, and told him "This is the absolute last time I ask. WHAT is it?" Once again, he insisted he didn't know. I told him to stand up, he refused. Again "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Now, stand up." I noticed his hands moving to his lap, and I told him to move his hands. When I started to get up, he shouted "FINE! She wants her headband." and threw it at me.

I'm seriously at my wit's end with him. Minor things turn to huge lies. I did spank him, though it doesn't do any good. And I also put him in the corner. I just don't know what to do with him any more. I am looking into a new therapist because his current one will likely laugh again when I discuss this incident with her.


So tell me, what do YOU do when your child lies?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

It's been a month

And I'm still not really "into" blogging much. I'm trying to get back into it, I swear. I just get so busy that I forget to post. Or I just get so overwhelmed. So, let's try to see if I can collect my thoughts enough to form an update of sorts.


Sept 12-
My SIL treated us and the kids to a local skating rink. They had a BLAST!! They did need to use the guides, but it was so much fun! Anthony and I enjoyed it as well. We did laser tag as well, and it was amazing! Gianna got into it as well, even though she didn't hit anyone.


Sept 21-
We took the kids and the puppy to a park to enjoy one of the last nice days of the season. Running, jumping, slides, swings, monkey bars ... They played for HOURS!!












Sept 22-
I literally spent ALL day doing laundry and cleaning the playroom. I went through all of Gianna's toys and threw out broken ones, toys that were drawn on, and ones she no longer played with. I fixed her reading corner and put everything together neatly. When I say ALL day, I meant it. I started at about 10 in the morning and didn't finish until a little after 6.


Sept 23-
Gianna started school! She loved it! She claimed she was going to cry all day for me, but didn't cry once! We had a situation with the bus which caused us to be waiting outside from 7:15AM until 9:00 ... when I ended up driving her to school. There's a street in the next town over with the same name as ours, so that's where the bus went. We also had an incident with the monitor on the bus home. She wasn't very pleasant, and I brought it up with our Headstart family advocate.
We also had her 3 year well child check up this day. Her official 3 year old stats are 36" tall and 30.6 lbs! She did need one shot. She wasn't too happy with it. Especially since we weren't expecting it. It was quite the shock to her.


Sept 24-
Second day of school and the bus was late again. Went to the right house this time, but didn't come until 8:30. School starts at 8 for her. We also had yet another incident with the monitor. I spoke with our advocate about it once again.


Sept 29-
AJ lies all the time. Today, his lie was incredibly ridiculous and over nothing serious. He came home from school and all he did was eat, eat, eat. He is on quite a bit of medication, so I'm not surprised that he doesn't eat at school. After his 20 thousandth snack, I told him no more, as dinner was on it's way (pizza). He snuck in the kitchen and ate toast. When I asked him about it, he insisted it wasn't him. I honestly gave him no less than 15 chances to tell me the truth. He lied each and every time. I sent him to bed early that night because, even after FINALLY getting him to admit it, he lied once again. I had enough. Also, he started hitting himself when I punished him.

Sept 30-
I kept G home from school because she was complaining of a belly ache and pointing to where her spleen is. I would rather be safe and have her looked at, than be sorry and something be wrong that we missed. Doctor took her in, even with no open appointments, and looked her over. Said her spleen felt just fine, but ordered blood tests anyways, since haven't had any done recently and have no current numbers on file. Blood test came back the next day. Hemoglobin was 9.5 (previously 8.5), hematocrit up to 29 (previously 25)

We also had AJ's therapy appt this day. It was the absolute WORST visit ever. I got yelled at for being "late" (I was actually early). The therapist and I got into it, and I told her she was of no help to us. Because I told her that her "suggestions" weren't helping, and that they were already things we were doing, she called my husband into the room because I was being "irrational". She and I do not mesh well. She spends more of our appointment time on the phone with her grandkids, or talking to me about her grandkids. I'm sorry, but I don't care. Help my son. That's what we're there for.

We did end up changing some medication. Not his therapist ... the RN at the clinic we go to. He is now on 40 mg of Ritalin LA (down from 60), still on 4 mg of Risperidone, .10 mg of Kapvay, and now we have added .125 mg of Seraquol. I'm not seeing much of a change. I am going to be sad when we leave, because I like her, but hopefully the next therapist we see will have an equally amazing RN.

Oct 1-
Got Gianna a new Nirvana t-shirt from Target! We love it!


Oct 2-
My birthday. Met a friend at Friendlys with the kids and we had ice cream. I am still not thrilled about being 30, but it's not too bad ... so far.

Oct 3-
I take that back. Being 30 is HORRIBLE. I was in yet another car accident. Some woman reversed into me at the SAME time I was reversing. I was 3/4 out of my spot when she hit me. It was entirely her fault, but I didn't feel like filing yet another claim this year. I did file a police report though, just to cover my bases. My car is scratched, the paint is peeling, I should have filed a claim so it could be repaired.


Oct 4-
Watched Annabelle with my husband for my birthday. Creepy!! It was REALLY good though!!

Oct 7-
Kids FINALLY have their Halloween costumes. Can't wait for Halloween!

Oct 11-
We took the kids to a local Pumpkin Farm. They had a blast!!


Today-
I think Gianna has Pink Eye. Going to take her to the walk in, and then get them ready for bed. It's been a LONG day today. (Now that I'm home, YES, she does have pink eye. No school for tomorrow. 1 drop every 6 hours in her eye until it's clear. Booooo)



Hopefully, I'll keep up with blogging!! I miss it! And if you're wondering, I have decided to file the claim against the woman who hit me. As most of you know, I am VERY much into car seat safety. Despite a minor accident like this, the manuals in my kids' car seats state that they need to be replaced. That is what I intend to do, so I will be pursuing the claim.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I Hate After School Time.

Let's just get one thing out in the open before I continue. Yes, I absolutely love my kids. No, I don't always like them. Do I have to like them? Absolutely not. That being said, I shall continue.


I see moms in all different groups I'm in saying things like "Oh, I'm not ready for little Johnny to start school yet!" or "Little Lisa starts Pre-K this year. I am crying so hard!" or even "I took Billy to school today. There were more tears coming from me than him. I don't know what to do with myself."

Meanwhile, I'm over here like "FINALLY. SCHOOL STARTS TODAY!" and "Oh thank God the kids are off to school." Not because I don't want to be around them. But, okay, well, maybe it's a little like that. Reminder, I do love my kids (reminder for you, or for me?!) but the nonstop fighting between them is enough to make even the sanest person lose it. I've tried ignoring them, I've tried redirection, I've tried punishments. Nothing helps. Especially not with AJ's problems.

Let me tell you, if you think that this is a discipline issue, then you are sorely mistaken. I invite any one of you into my home for a full day to see what we go through. Of course, I'm going to ask that you make yourself hidden because my kids are on their best better behavior when other people are around. The fighting isn't as bad. It stops the first time I tell them to stop it. They're more inclined to help out around the house. They don't bicker, or talk back.

Today, oh man. Today the advocate from Head Start came to do a home visit so that Gianna can go to school later this month. While I was talking to her, Sofia came home and immediately started acting up. She RARELY acts up. But sometimes, she just has to show off. And that she did. Immediately started being loud, being silly, and interrupting us while we were talking. Which then meant that Gianna had to start being loud. Eventually, I got them to calm down, but that was only the beginning.

Enter AJ. He comes home at 3:45. From that point on until bedtime (at 7:30), it's nonstop:
AJ, sit down.
AJ, do your homework.
AJ, what did I just say?
AJ, keep your hands to yourself.
Quit tattling, AJ.
Just be quiet for 2 minutes ... PLEASE!
AJ, stop yelling at Gianna.
AJ, stop chasing her.
Gianna, stop taking his toys.
AJ, stop yelling.
AJ! JUST STOP!!!!

I literally mean, nonstop. Shortly after he came home today, he started his homework. That involved him cutting pictures out of a magazine for school. He needed to cut out things that he liked. Gianna sat next to him, just watching him. She did not touch him, nor did she say anything to him. He, all of a sudden, started screaming about her being there. He threw the scissors down, and stormed off. Gianna grabbed the scissors and set them back down on his magazine. He then flipped out because she touched his scissors (they were actually Sofia's scissors). He threw his arms in the air, and started stomping all over. After that little fit, he came back to finish his work. When he finished, he asked me to close the ziploc baggie with his pictures in it. While I was doing that, I asked him to pick up the pieces that he cut out and won't be using. Gianna helped him pick them up, and then he flipped out about that. He didn't want to walk allllll the way to the kitchen by himself (a whole 10 feet). So he decided to throw the little papers on the floor and then throw himself down.

After that episode was over, he picked up his mess, all while muttering nonsense. I ignored him. He started playing with his toys after that- Trio Blocks, wrestling figures, and his toy sword. When he turned around to ask me something, Gianna touched one of his Trio blocks. Because she dared touch it, he started flipping out, screaming at her and stomping around. She handed him the block back, and he snatched it from her. Which then hurt her, and made her cry. Because she started crying, he started yelling at her for crying, calling her a cry baby and a liar (denying wrongdoing is common with ODD kids). Since he chose to hurt her, intentionally or not, I made him put his toys away and sit on the couch. At that point, he started throwing his toys in the toy bin. Fine. At least they're being put away and he isn't hurting anyone. Once he realized I wasn't letting him up, he started with the name calling and attitude again.

I'm horrible. He hates me. He wishes he never came home from school (the feeling is mutual at this point, buddy!!). He's never coming home again (can I pack for you??). Blah blah blah. My only response to all this, is a very unenthusiastic "Okay. I'm sorry you feel that way. I still love you." After a few times of me repeating that, he eventually calms down. It's like something clicks in his head Oh, she still loves me. Maybe I should stop. It's like he's not getting the reaction he wants (he gets great enjoyment out of seeing me cry and beg him to please stop) so he just gives up. Or maybe the rational part of his brain kicks in to snap him out of his ODD rage.

What ever is going on, school seems to exacerbate it. He has recently had a med change, yet again, and is only taking them in the morning. It started as him taking Ritalin LA 40 mg and Risperidone 2 mg in the morning, and Ritalin LA 20 mg, Risperidone 2 mg, and Clonidine .10 mg after school (around 3:30 during the Summer). But he took them all at once one morning during the Summer, accidentally. It worked well, so the RN at the therapist suggested we continue. Since he's taking all those in the AM, they work for a few hours. So by the time he comes home, they've worn off, and all his pent up frustration and anger from the new school year come out. He lashes out at me and who ever is in his path. Which is why I hate after school time. My anxiety kicks up around 3:30. My shoulders and my neck tense up. I KNOW I'm in for a battle royale.

Our next therapy appointment isn't until the 30th of this month. I'm not so sure I'll be able to last that long. I feel every muscle tensing up when I know he's about to come home. I feel every bad feeling you could possibly feel, creeping up. It's just not a good feeling. The worst thing is knowing that I can't help him. His therapist doesn't do much for him. Unfortunately, she's the only therapist around that we can see. She has these "ideas" on how to help him- 1-2-3 Magic for disciplining (laughable, at best). Taking things away as punishment (he doesn't care). Redirection ... All things we have tried!! This is an ongoing problem, and I feel like I'm drowning in meltdowns and tantrums.

In the meantime, I'll just plug along and hope things get better. Or at least that the newness of school wears off and he calms down.

How has the first day been for you? Any meltdowns?