Today was AJ's appointment with the therapist. It was only the 2nd visit, but he was a bit more open to suggestions and spoke a little bit to her. He admitted that he knows he's been doing bad things, and even admitted to intentionally lying about certain, ummmm, bathroom habits. No, it's not THAT. I'm sort of hoping that behavior won't come any time. Anyways, he used the toilet, and decided to make the contents go up and under the rim. And it wasn't an accident. I'll save you the grim details on how, exactly, he did that.
He is also refusing showers and pretends to brush his teeth. He won't do anything that he's supposed to. The Therapist wants us to work on small goals- if you shower and brush your teeth, we'll (fill in the blank) before bed. I, on the other hand, don't think that he should be rewarded for doing things that he is supposed to be doing. Cleaning the toys off the floor, yes. Putting the dirty clothes from the bathroom into a hamper, sure. But not brushing his teeth!
Take last night for example. We took the kids to Chuck E Cheese as a surprise. It wasn't anything special, but just wanted to take them out for some fun and to burn off energy. Not even 10 minutes into being there, and he pees in his pants. Why? Because he didn't want to go to the bathroom. He stood there, announced "I have to go potty!", and continued to stand there while my husband told him to head to the bathroom. Instead of walking towards the bathroom, he stood there and peed. Luckily, Anthony had an extra pair of pants in his car. After he finally changed, it was time to eat. But, he only ate one very thin piece of pizza before he decided he was "too full" and couldn't eat another bite.
About an hour and a half of playing, and we finally went through all the tokens. That didn't stop AJ, though. He insisted on running around. And of course, the all too famous, "I'm still hungry!" mere seconds before we were going to leave. So, he finished the one piece he had left, and then we left. Stopped off at Walmart to pick some things up, where he decided to run around and not listen. He flat out humiliated me with his screaming at the top of his lungs over nothing. Well, actually, it was because he insisted that he was STILL starving. He was trying to take things off the shelves because of how "hungry" he was. When we got home, I gave him some bread and butter, then it was bed time. That was an entirely different issue.
So, if I can't expect him to behave when we do something fun, just because, why would I be under the impression that he would benefit from rewards when he does what he's supposed to? I don't. That's why I arranged for him to meet with a Police Officer with the Juvenile department. Since he wants to steal and disobey everything we say, I set up a meeting for them to scare him. He had no idea. So, after his appointment with his therapist, we headed to the police station. The officer there showed him pictures of the jail, and a pic of someone behind bars. He showed him the shackles on the floor that they would use if they had to come and pick him up. His partner kept saying "Are you really going to let him go this time? Are you sure it's a good idea? Don't you think he should stay?" and so on. It really did scare him, and he thought that he was going to be staying. The tears started to well up, and he started looking at me with fear in his eyes. He was pleading with me to not send him to jail. The officer then told him that he would let him go THIS TIME, but the next time? No dice. Unfortunately, he's too young for them to put him in a cell for a few minutes to see what it's like, but I think he got the message. He couldn't get out of there fast enough.
We're home now, where we've been since we were done with his appointments. Though he may not steal any more, he certainly isn't listening any better. He's eaten so much junk food while I was upstairs with Gianna. He's ripped up papers. We had pictures taken yesterday while at CEC (the drawing ones), and he markered all over them because he was mad. He certainly isn't deserving of any rewards tonight. I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do with him any more. I'm at my wits end. I think, after all this, I am well deserving of a vacation!!!
I agree why give a reward for something you need to do everyday and in between, they are trouble. I'm struggling with this myself.
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