Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My son, the thief

It pains me say this, but my son is a thief. This is not the first time he's stolen. He's taken a candy bar from the Family Dollar once. He's taken things from the grocery store. He recently stole $5 out of my wallet when G and I were napping on the couch. I woke up because I felt like someone was staring at me. Sure enough, he was right there, hand in his pocket, staring at me. I asked what he had, and he said nothing. Then ran to his room. When I went up to see what it was, I assumed I'd find candy, or fruit snacks. Nope, there was my $5. Little shit. I took it from him, explained why we don't steal, especially from our parents, and asked why he did it. His response was "Because I wanted to." Well, okay then. Not a good excuse, but whatever.

Today, I received a call from the school. When I looked at the caller ID on the phone, I knew it was in regards to AJ. I thought something happened and they wanted me to pick him up. I was about to break it to them that I couldn't since I don't have a working car. After what I was told, I wish that was the issue.

Mrs. B called me to ask if sent AJ in to school with $20 for ice cream. Wait ... what did you just say? "Did you send $20 with Anthony for ice cream?" Ummm, no. Not a fat chance in hell did I do such a thing. It turns out, AJ took $20 with him, bought some ice cream, then got caught. Mrs. B took it from him, and put it in a baggie. At that point, she called me to ask about it. When she asked, I immediately got up to look in my wallet. Well, guess what? My wallet was missing. Why was I not surprised? I informed her that he stole that from me, and thank you for taking the change from him. I later found out that he had only purchased one ice cream thingy with it, for 75 cents. Okay, I'm still pissed, but whatever. She said that when she took the money from him, he started crying and having a tantrum. The note she included in the baggie with the money left over said "Anthony brought $20 in for ice cream, so here is his change. He seemed upset about sending the change home." You think?

Since we have no car, I sort of rely on people to possibly take us to Walmart when we need to go. Luckily, it's only been twice that we really needed to go, and our friend D has taken Anthony, or allowed him to borrow his car. However, since last night, I needed wipes for Gianna. We usually cloth diaper and use cloth wipes, but because she has a bleeding rash, I want to take care of it first. The ointments and creams I'm using are not CD safe. She's been crying when I use the wipe spray, so disposable wipes are the best in this situation. I used most of our wipes in the AM when she had a nasty diaper. I ripped them in half so they'd last longer, but was at 1/2 wipe when I had my little rant.

I've asked a few people if they could run to the store for me. Since all I had on me was the $20 bill, they could keep it all. Pick up a few things, keep the change. I always am the first one there when people need me. I pick up my friends from work at 11pm, take them in at 7am, babysit for free, give them food and money when they need it, but the one time I need something, NO ONE is around. Thankfully, one of my friends from school came to my rescue. Unfortunately, since my son stole my money, I wasn't able to pay her back. I told her I would when he came home and/or when I see her again, and she said not to worry about it. I wanted to cry. Something so little meant the world to me. Thank you SO much, S. You seriously made my day.

I fully expected AJ to come home with the $19.25 in his pocket, with his tail tucked between his legs. Nope, the kid came in, bouncing around, like nothing happened. I asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me. At that point, he lowered his head, and muttered something. I'm not sure what it was, but he said something along the lines of "I don't want to but yes".He handed me the baggie. The first thing I noticed was there was no quarter in there. I asked him about the quarter. He said he gave it away. Wait, you what?? You STOLE my money, then gave the quarter away!? Are you serious?? So, then I take the money out, and count it. Since he gave away my quarter, there should be $19 there. Nope, there was SEVENTEEN dollars. $17!!! Woah, hold up. Where the hell is the rest of my money? His response "I gave it to some friends that I don't know their names."

Hold the hell up ... you STOLE my $20. The ONLY money I have for the next 2 weeks. Then you bought ice cream with it. Then you took the quarter and gave that away. Then you thought it would be a good idea to take $2 and give it to people you don't know?! He nodded his head, and said yes. Because it's always a good idea to steal money from your parents, then give some away when you know you're already in trouble for stealing it in the first place. Why not!? I seriously hope that ice cream was worth it.

His punishment? I took all of his toys away. ALL of them. Even his crayons and colored pencils. The child has nothing. He also didn't get any ice cream cake tonight. Sofia, Gianna, and I enjoyed some, while he sat there and watched us eat it. Unfair? Not in the least. He had ice cream at lunch time while the rest of us did not. He was not happy. He pouted and whined that it was his ice cream cake. No, child. It is not. We bought it to CELEBRATE your birthday. We did not buy it for YOU to eat alone.

Originally, the plan for punishment was to take away his favorite toys- his Matchbox Wall Track, and his Nerf guns, and no ice cream cake. This was when I only thought he took the $20 and got ice cream. When I discovered that he gave more money away, that's when I took them all. I even had him help me bag it all up. All of his toys are now in my closet. He has his Pooh Bear that he sleeps with, and his Fisher Price Aquarium. That's it. Nothing else. And I think that's pretty fair. Now, I have to determine when he can have them back. This is the part that always gets me. I can take things away, but when is a good time to give them back? I told him he can have them back when he gets the money back from his friends. Realistically, I know that won't happen. Maybe a week of no toys will get to him. Then he can start doing things around the house to earn them back, one at a time.

Any suggestions as to what he can do??


  1. My kids clean to put energy back in the family when they do something that needs serious consequences.

  2. I feel for you. I wish I could help out and offer you a solution for all AJ's issues, but I really don't know.

    Yes, actions have consequences, and I see nothing wrong with taking his toys away. We've done that once or twice for our kids as well.

    We all have to work for our money. In order to pay you back the $3, perhaps have him work for it. Each job has a certain amount of money to be paid. (Set an amount for each job and post it on the fridge--dimes and nickels, so he really has to work) Give him the money, and have him pay you back immediately. Much like the way a loan works.

    Then once he's earned that money to pay you back, he can work towards getting toys back. Put a few in a box at a time, and give him some jobs/goals to work to get that box of toys back. Do this each week (or an amount of time you feel is reasonable). Perhaps if he does "more" than what you're asking, he can earn a "bonus" toy back.

    Does he get an allowance? My kids don't, but if they want to earn a dollar, they are given odds and ends jobs (using the chart you had) to "work" and then they get their paycheck, just like the rest of us. Then he can use that money to buy an icecream at school or a candy bar from the dollar store. Maybe this might work to ward off the stealing.

    I know you may not want to, but perhaps locking up your wallet (or at least the money) might have to happen for a while. If he steals again, he has to work for it again to pay it off.

    I hope these suggestions help. Wish I had a solution for you. Keep up the good work. I know it's hard, but you are the mom, and whatever you do for your children, as long as it's your best, is great.


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